McWhat??!!

I have been quite busy, nursing a nasty cold, so I am just getting around to the final installment on my McBlog. I actually wrote this right before Thanksgiving, so you have to pardon the stale references to a holiday already in our dim past. T, chiming in from who-knows-where, thoughtfully sent around a link you won’t want to miss. It was all about our favorite restaurant and how it is expanding into new areas. Those of you planning a trip to Europe in the near future simply must see this video, and as Tiffany says, “note the colors of the hotel”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcD-Fn-LzU0

Please note also that I did not write this blog while logged into my tutoring shift. Instead, I spent my pre-Thanksgiving hours diligently working on some stock explanations I give to students, you know, for those students who think a strong comparison-contrast essay is on the merits of owning a computer as over against owning a dog. My computer-whiz son helped me figure out the wild world of bookmarks, not to be confused with scraps of old McD burger wrappings slid between the pages of Jane Austin, leaving a grease mark for all posterity. Incidentally, my son has both a computer AND a dog. I keep meaning to ask how he would compare the two . . .

But before we all break for Christmas, I do want T to know that I, for one, watched the U-Tube video. It was fabulous. Thanks so much! When I have the option of McHotel available to me, I cannot imagine why I would ever choose to stay in a tiny little Swiss hotel on a mountainside, disturbed by the feather pillow and comforter, annoyed by the tinkle of cow bells in the distance. Why have a view of the mountains from my open window when I can have the golden arches in my room? And why eat cheese fondue and chilled white wine when I can have a burger and a McCocktail? And all served in my room for which I’ve paid only $160. Wow. Maybe I’ll splurge and fork up (excuse the pun) the $1200 for a suite. At the very least, I’ve got to get myself a headboard like that somewhere. It is the ultimate in trends. While my husband was on a business trip to America, I truly contemplated surprising him with a redecorated bedroom as a surprise. I was so inspired by the McHotel, that I truly thought he would appreciate the colors. After all, pickle, ketchup, and mustard colors are pretty close to the black, red, and yellow of the German flag . . .

Again, thanks so much for the information, T. I’ll be sure to keep this option for hotel choices in mind when my husband and I plan the next vacation with our teenagers in Switzerland. As I said, I really hated the view of the Alps and the Swiss Flag flying over our tiny chalet.

On a related topic, this thread has gotten a little out of hand, but I hope it has provided some amusement for the rest of you and that you will forgive me for my German-influenced remarks. For you who are logged in at McD's, furiously working away using McInternet, or for my family, who may be scarfing down McD’s while giving telephone hotline advice about the merits of cabbage in reducing engorgement, that’s probably the closest thing you will ever get to an apology from me. Meanwhile, I was sharing this thread with my American friend Tammie. She recently got a letter from a little kid who had to research other countries. To make the research more personal, he sent a standard letter to anyone living overseas whose email address his parents had access to. [That last sentence, ending with a preposition, sounds like one for a sharp tutor.]

Apparently, we have McGeography in America. Here were the child’s earnest questions:

Do you ride a car or a donkey? (Nope, no donkeys in Berlin as mode of transportation. Might be a cool trend, however, with Christmas coming up.)

What different types of food do you eat? (Not a bad question. Keep it up, kid! Since “hamburgers” come from “Hamburg,” maybe that would be an appropriate answer?)

Do you speak another language? Which one? (Um, well, I wonder what Germans speak. Spanish?)

Do you have any pets? (No, I traded my dog in for a computer.)

And then, the final, ultimate question: Do you have McDonald’s near you? Is the food the same?

Ah, now we get to the heart of what every kid wants to know about a foreign country . . .

As a response, my friend Tammie plans to take pictures of all the McStuff here in Berlin. Apparently Mc is known for fast and cheap, so we have:

McPaper—office supplies on many corners of Berlin
McGeiz—“McGreedy,” the German equivalent of a five and dime or a dollar store
McBike—grab your wheels and go
McBett—sells beds
McDöner—sells a lamb/beef meat from a spit, served on a thick pita. Not to be confused with Erin’s McArabia from Dubai and the McTurco from Istanbul. (Recently there was a big scandal about Döner meat being seasoned rotten meat. Döner shops are everywhere in Germany because of the heavy Turkish population. The report warned that any Döner costing less than 2.50 Euros was suspect. I’ll ask Tammie to check how much the Döner is at McDöner, just to put your minds at rest.)

Then there is my personal favorite:

McFit—a no-frills fitness company that costs 13.95/month instead of the typical 49.95. I would love it if it went hand and hand with a McDiet—there has to be a faster, cheaper and tastier way of dropping the pounds I gained at McD’s last year in America than eliminating wine and chocolate . . .

Not a single one of these companies have anything to do with McDonald’s; they are just take-offs on the name. I believe in America, adding “Mc” and using the concept fast and cheap is now copyrighted, but no one seems to have caught up with that here!

Well, before I send this, I do need to grab the dog, who is once again not as good as my computer because she eats homework instead of helping you research it. I’ll head down to McPaper and maybe get a McDöner for dinner.

Happy McChristmas! Hope you all are having something other than McTurkey or McHam on that day!